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I had that donut neck thing. I had some red wine. A nice flight attendant snuck me a cheese plate from business class. So I almost enjoyed the 10 hour flight. When we got to London we immediately went to a Cathedral. I like to drag my husband to churches. It’s one of the ways [...]

I had braces. I thought that might keep Neil Diamond from loving me. I was 13. But thought braces were the bigger barrier. He was my first crush. My friend and I spent days drawing pictures of him. I traced mine because I suck at art. We copied the lyrics of his songs and sent [...]

I don’t drink and paddleboard. But it’s hard not to cocktail in Cabo. There’s tequila in the salad. The waiter tossed some in while tossing it. So even my Caesar was drunk. I was almost surprised no one offered me a shot while paddle boarding. But as I dragged the board back to the beach [...]

I want to be Mother Teresa. But a hot Mother Teresa, with long hair, short skirts, Botox and a blow dry. I blame my mother for this twisted fantasy. She’s always helping somebody. As a child I remember her driving the nuns around. The same nuns that made my sisters kneel on frozen peas if [...]

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Never know who you’ll run into in the ladies room. Or right outside the ladies room. I’m not a Beverly Hills girl, but we happened to be there for dinner. By we I mean a big,loud group of friends. We’d been at an event with lots of booze and not much food. We were in [...]

My family is small and furry. I have only have 1 cousin. But she has 5 kids, 4 dogs, 2 cats and a hedgehog. I wouldn’t say Cashew the hedgehog and I are close. But we are family. I went to see my east coast family. Took my Mom on a road trip to see [...]

The bed was round. With a hot tub next to it. Was it a hotel? Or a brothel. We were drinking wine when we booked it. When in Rome… Except we weren’t in Rome. Yet. We were home. On Expedia. Planning our empty nester… Eat, Pray, Love-ish trip. To Roma. A friend said… Rome is [...]