Thanksgiving Recipes & My Morpheus8 Face.

Cooking With Mom on TV a Few Years Ago.

I’m flaky and crusty as a pie.

I had a Morpheus 8.

Not sure about the 8.

Is there a Morpheus 7 that hurts less?

For those of you who don’t speak Dermatology…

It’s microneedling with radio frequency.

It’s a jab then a zap.

One friend said she threw up after.

I’m ok. 

But my skin feels like it was baked at 350 for 45 minutes (like the Corn Thing).

I’ll try not to peel while peeling the potatoes.

And eventually my skin should be tighter.

I should be cooking instead of blogging.

But wanted to share some of the best recipes I’ve stolen for Thanksgiving.

Or what my vegan friends call Turkey Genocide Day.

I’ve cooked Thanksgiving for vegans.

Chick peas are a good substitute for the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes. 

But most of my recipes are grossly unhealthy.

Mr G makes the turkey.

I will miss him arguing with my Mom on how long to cook it.

Mom cooked for me.

Then (kind of) taught me to cook.

Then she helped me cook.

Then I cooked for her.

This is our first Thanksgiving without her.

I’ll keep her traditions.

Like making her 500 pound cheesecake.

And all  her favorites…

BIG ASS HAM (stole this recipe from the Barefoot Contessa).

1 Honey Baked Ham (damn they closed the store near me) or any cooked Ham.

6 garlic cloves (get the lazy ass already chopped garilc)

8 ounce jar Mango Chutney (its weird stuff I know. Look for it by the salad dressings)

1/2 cup Dijon mustard (Pardon me…) 

1 cup brown sugar 

1 orange zest (fancy word for rind)

1/4 cup orange juice

Mix it (I’m lazy, I mix it all in one measuring cup)

Slap it on the ham. Bake the ham 350 degrees. 45 minutes.

This sucker will give you leftovers for a week.

 THE CORN THING!  Better than candy and some sex. Stole this recipe from Trish (Bless her heart) Suhr.

1 can kernel corn (drain it)

1 can cream corn (yes it’s fattening)

1 package corn muffin mix

1 cup sour cream

1/2 stick butter melted

 2 eggs (Trish says this makes it rise like Jesus).

1 & 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese (Nash doesn’t love cheese, so I add it when he’s not looking).

 Stir. Butter the pan. Cook at 350 for 45 minutes. Add the cheese to the top (or mix it in and don’t tell Nash).

Cook until cheese melts. Eat the entire thing in one sitting (well I do).

  LAZY BUTT STUFFING.

 3 apples (peel and  chop. Outsource this to whoever is near the kitchen).

 1 onion (can never find anyone to chop The onion).

 3/4 pound of sausage  (I use the Jimmy Dean maple or sage)

 1 bag/box of stuffing 

 2 eggs

 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning (Mr G went to four different stores looking for it last year).

 salt

 sugar  

 butter

 chicken stock

Cook sausage. Use some butter to cook apples and onion ( about 7 minutes on the stove top).

Cook stuffing with the bag directions (I use butter and chicken stock).

Mix. Add eggs (it’s gloppy I use my hands to mix. Yes, I wash them first).

Add poultry seasoning salt and sugar to taste.

Bake (with more butter) until top is crusty (like my face).

Now perhaps I should have started with this…

I’m not a very good cook.

But I do love Thanksgiving.

And I love having my family around me.

Especially when it’s time to clean up.

I can put makeup on by Thanksgiving.

My face will heal in a few days,

My heart will take longer.