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My husband is passing a kidney stone. Apparently this is harder than passing gas. He’s trying not to cry like a baby. As I recall a baby is bigger than a kidney stone. And I passed one of those. But I won’t remind him of that now.
His stone (pebble really) reminds me of Paris.
The last time he passed one I was in Paree. At a strip club actually. A fancy French strip club. They call it a topless review. Upon review I can tell you the boobs are real. Flat but spectacular. Next to LA boobs they look like kidney stones. But at this crazy club (called Crazy Horse) the girls dance in a line and their areolas are in time. They’re the nipple Rockettes. And the WC (the potty) had two seats. Deux for pee? It was like a love seat for pee. Oui oui! And I think (but we were drinking) we saw another bidet that looked like lips. To kiss your butt? Literally. Lips and nips…it was quite the night of Moulin nude.
I went to Paris with 5 friends. We planned the trip for four months. Three days before David got a kidney stone. To go or not to go that was the question. Actually that was never a question. I was going. The question was…is this a marriage ender.
In the end…we had the perfect girls trip. Unlike those Real Housewives of Beverly Hills…The Real Housewives of Malibu went to Paris and got along. We didn’t eat duck heads or skip along the Seine. But then again we don’t talk about each other the way they do. I mean of course we talk about each other… but with love.
And my husband sent us a photo of the kidney bolder when he passed the little fucker (sorry I meant to say sucker). All the girls marveled at the size of it. We know size matters to guys.
Dorothy, this was a funny entry and a nice change I must say. Time for you to have some R&R, You certainly deserve it. I’m sure you girls had fun without the men lagging behind….The duel toilet seats are weird. I’d probably only feel comfortable using them if a was a lil toasted, lol….. Lips? Now that’s cute.
I feel sorry for David passing the kidney stone because I hear it’s terrific pain. Yes I know I had four babies but men are sissies. lol
I look forward to your next entry Dorothy. Love reading them,
Hugs
Oh my poor David, I love you real Malibu housewives . It would be great for a producer to pick that up! Show what it is like to follow your Charity work , mending kids. Not sure Bh wives go to do that on tv.. Lol have fun , I am watching your friend Sam now!! Miss you this is a great choice
Omg I can’t stop laughing this is sexy sassy and verging on sinful
Love xo
Dorothy they maybe small but you have to consider the size of the hole they have to pass thru…OUCH! .and they’re usually jagged…probably like us having to pee out razor blades…hope he passed it..poor guy…take good care of your man…he’ll need some serious TLC…miss you on GDLA…never been the same since you left..
Poor David….”this too shall PASS” sorry, David for the pun….I’ve had both a stone & a baby….equal pain !
Dorothy, you crack me up and you have a real talent for writing. I’m thinking you need to write a funny/sexy Malibu novel. Or at least some magazine articles. I want to read more!! XO
Fabulous…just fabulous! Your description of the “Moulin Nude” and the “petites tetons” makes me homesick, we like things au naturel en France 
Dorothy, Couldn’t sleep and came across your blog,, I never knew you we’re so funny!!!=) Maybe this is what you needed, to get away from the corporate bullshit. Look forward to reading more of your posts oh and btw, the day you left GDLA is the day I stopped watching . <3
you crack my Paris kissed ass in 1/2 … i love you ! xo an unforgettable topless trip