IS THAT A BEE ON YOUR BUTT OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

I have this little tradition of risking my life on the 4th of July. But that comes at the end of the story.

Speaking of ends…

The day started with not a bang…but a butt.

My friend Jen got stung by a bee on her hiney. I said quit rubbing honey on your ass. She laughed (after an hour or so).
It did swell a bit so all day we had to say “does this bee sting make my butt look big”?

It was the craziest day.

We were at the beach. Some girls stole our paddle boards and paddled out to some party boat. Might have been a bit too much partying on the boat cause they lost a jet ski.

Two (I hate to say to say drunks but does a sober person lose a jet ski?) people fell off a jet ski and just left it floating in the ocean. A life guard paddled out to it save the life of the jet ski. The humans were OK too.

Since I was ( allegedly) once a gossip reporter…let me report I saw some stars on the beach. Including Reese Witherspoon ( who has perhaps the cutest baby ever born).

A few hours and a bunch of burgers (and bottles of wine) later we went in the water.

In Malibu a few (really) rich people rent boats to set off fireworks. There’s a little tug boat and a large barge. The barge comes pretty close to the shore but apparently not close enough.

We have this tradition (we did it last year…does that make it a tradition?). We paddle out to watch the fireworks in the water.

5 kids and 2 adults went out. Well if you call me an adult.

It’s pitch black out there. But I was doing the head count. All of a sudden one of the kids is gone. I’m yelling “Where’s Fraser??” The boys tell me he went in to get the girls.

He got his sisters and a bunch of other girls to swim out.

So now it’s 10 teens and 2 adults.

I was feeling out numbered (I was a life guard but that was SO 20 years ago).

But these kids are part dolphin. They are so much better in the water than me.

Suddenly the sky filled with gun powder and glory. Glorious, gorgeous fireworks.

Don’t really have the words to describe sitting in a kayak (maniac?) watching the show explode upon the water and sky.

It wasn’t even cold. All I was wearing was a rash guard ( well not ALL I was wearing…I did have a bathing suit on).

Just to annoy my son, my friend Inga and I sing (scream) The Star Spangled Banner. And the home of the…brave (or borderline insane).

We probably weren’t risking our lives but sharks do feed at night. They may have been scared off by the fire works (or the singing).

The only injury all day was the bee sting.