I GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS

I had a drink with Jean Martirez. Coffee. That’s a drink right? I almost didn’t recognize her. She’s a red-head. A Ginger. It’s that fabulous ombré red. She almost didn’t recognize me. Maybe because I was makeup free. My husband used to say he loved the way I looked without makeup. That was before I quit wearing it.

So this man comes up to us at Starbucks (he may have been drinking something stronger than we were). He tells Jean he misses her on TV. I sat there and smiled because I miss Jean on TV too. Then he said I miss Jillian she was nutty and fun but you were the rock of that show, I loved when you talked about your Church and your son. Now clearly he loved Jean. And clearly he had loved Good Day LA. But he never even acknowledged me. He seemed to think Jean and I were one person. Now he did mentioned that he’s living in his limo so his TV may be tiny. Often I don’t get recognized till I speak and I never got a word in edgewise with this guy. But if I am that unrecognizable… maybe I should put a little makeup on.

Later that day I became the Mother of twins. The two Mending Kids from Ethiopia came to stay with me. We are the buddy family for the kids. So when their gorgeous Host Mom Brooke Bohm went out-of-town I got (very temporary) custody. The moment they got in my car they called me Mom. I was so touched by their love. Until I realized they call everyone with a kid Mom.
Their names are Kidanu and Zelalem. Say that three times fast. They are here for surgery on their hands.

They played games with Nash all night. And I do mean ALL night. Perhaps I should have said no to donuts at 10PM. It’s a tough call. You do want to spoil these kids. But you don’t want to spoil them rotten. Soon they will go back to Ethiopia. At home their family lives on 22 dollars a month. Yes I said a month.
We played some intense late night Jenga. No easy task with a pink cast. I think the pink cast reflects how metro the twins have become. They stay with a family with two girls. So their nails (they only have three fingers on each hand) are always painted purple or green.

Finally I said lights out around 11PM. The lights never did go out but I’ll get to that in a moment.

I put plastic bags around the casts (not allowed to get those suckers wet) and they took showers. I laid out the pajamas that Brooke had packed for them. I went to say goodnight and they were all clean and cozy in bed…fully dressed. They had on jeans and sweatshirts. They were all set for the next day. I pointed to the PJs. They smiled and said no thank you.

I wasnt sure what to say.bwhat could I say? My Spanish got a lot better when Sandra my Mending Kid was here. But these kids speak Amharic. My Amharic really sucks. I’ve been to Ethiopia twice and all I can say is ameseginalehu. Which means thank you. So I showed them how to shut off the light and let them go night night in their clothes (and their shoes too).

In the morning I realized they slept fully dressed AND left the lights on.

I took them to school (yes they are in school…it’s very cool). I enjoyed carpool cause they laugh at everything I say. Unlike Nash who laughs at nothing I say. Did I mention he’s a teenager?

The twins love my jokes. Of course they don’t speak English. But they learning.

We loved the sleep over. But I did then hand them over to their Host Mom. I went home and had a drink (coffee….again).

Brooke has had the twins for two months. But I posted enough photos to make Facebook/Twitter and Instagram think I gave birth to them.

I’m back to screwing up just one kid again. With all that extra time I could possibly apply a little eyeliner now and then.