JUSTIN BIEBER WALKS INTO A BAR…

So Justin Bieber walks into a bar. Or at least he tried to. Or at least that’s the story I’m going with.

I heard a rumor (and you know I made a career of hearing rumors) that Biebes tried to crash our Mending Kids KISS concert. And that he got the kiss off from security. He allegedly pulled the do you know who I am??? And they did.

I was so close to the stage I could almost touch Gene’s tongue. I didn’t get that spot because I’m on the board of Mending Kids. I got it because I remember how to be pushy. I guess I did learn something in all those years on TV.

KISS usually plays stadiums. They played at The House of Blues for love and money. Gene Simmons walked into a Mending Kids fundraiser (we let him in) a year ago. It was a poker tournament. He lost money that night and has been raising money for us ever since. On Valentine’s day Gene got his family (his kids can sing) Tom Jones, Natasha Bedingfield, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Penn Jillete, Paris Hilton, Brenna Whitaker, Vintage Trouble and Arsenio Hall to help us raise money and the roof. The concert was on AXS TV. Arsenio introduced KISS by saying “you know brothers don’t usually like fire and makeup with their music…but these mother fuckers changed that forever.”

Gene is helping us change lives…forever. He’s so low-key about his philanthropy. And let’s face it Gene is NEVER low-key. His son Nick says charity work is the only thing Gene won’t brag about.

Not sure I should brag about this but I got hit on Pretty Woman style while I was trying to leave. Some guy was trying to get me in his car. I know I had leather pants and boots on but DUDE…I don’t think I looked like a hooker. I guess it was flattering in a creepy way. Until my husband pointed out that it was pretty dark out.

So now that we raised money there are lives to be saved. When you save a child you save a family. When you save a family you save a village. When you save a village you begin to save the world. When you save the world you save yourself. See? I’m still pretty selfish.

I’m packing for our Panama mission. I can’t save a life but I can bring candy for the kids and toilet paper for the Doctors. I can play with the kids and pray with their parents.

And although I’m not a very happy kind of camper…I can camp.

We are partnering with a charity called Floating Doctor’s. We are going way off the grid. The packing list says head light. With my bad eyes I thought it said head lice, but it’s one of those thing miners wear. That and a hammock. My room-mate is Mother Nature. We are sleeping outside. I was going to get malaria pills but my doctor said the bigger fear is Dengue fever. That’s the one with the red rash and the red eyes (how very Bob Costas). I have my meds and my trusty Cipro. And I’m bringing ambien..which I never use. So if I wander off into the jungle at night remember…I did it for the kids.

Mending Kids is trying to save as many kids in as many countries (including the US) as we can. But I’m pretty sure even we can’t save Bieber.