YOUR ASS LOOKS 20.

‘

I’m getting Botox today.

I’ll have BO-ROT.

That’s my EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony).

BO-ROT. Botox and roots.

No frown, no brown roots.

My brown (OK gray) roots are ok (thanks to Tracey Cunningham).

Brow lines are about to go away (thanks to Doctor Wu).

Now I’m unemployed, my car is a mess and George Clooney is married.

But I’m lucky to have first world problems.

I’ve seen third world problems.

I’ve used a leaf for toilet paper.

Not soft. And they crumble.

My aim in life is to be just slightly less superficial.

Ana Garcia and I are doing some charity “work”.

I put it in quotes because I don’t consider charity work to be work.

We’re doing an internet radio show for Mending Kids.

We make it as superficial as it possibly can be when discussing life and death.

Recently we spoke to Doctor Cathy Shin. A pediatric surgeon at Children’s Hospital.

She went to Haiti and did 89 surgeries in 5 days.

I’m not sure Jesus could have done more.

On the radio show Madeleine Stowe called in to talk about Haiti.

Kick ass Doctor Shin became a puddle of celebrity love.

Of course we discussed Revenge.

Of course we discussed Ana’s sewage issue (it’s bad when shit comes up in the shower) more than we discussed sewage in Haiti.

But some serious subjects did come up.

Like how Mending Kids is saving kids in Haiti.

And how Artists for Peace and Justice is educating them.

I found my true love.

Taking the profound and making it profoundly silly.

The perfect mix of selfish and selfless.

Charity isn’t work.

It’s therapy.

It’s Fun lanthropy.

The perfect example is my girl Holly Robinson Peete.

While raising money and awareness for autism she threw herself a kick ass 50th.

She sang with En Vogue.

She got a birthday cake from Magic Johnson.

Eva Longoria told Holly her ass looks 20.

At the end of the evening my ass (which looks 45) grabbed a swag bag.

The goodies were from the AARP.

When your half a hundred, but your ass looks 20,  AARP is cool.

Waiting for my car I was chatting with Jackee Harry.

We were both wondering who was going to get in the Maybach with the Maltese in the back.

Jackee said to me “You should be on radio.”

Does that mean I have an ass for radio?

I said “I do a radio show for my favorite charity.”

She said “You have things to say.”

Maybe I do.

But let me say this…

I’m about to be late for my Dermatologist.

Maybe I’ll get my car washed…