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Finally a reason for a golden shower.
Said my girlfriend.
We were at a fundraiser.
Talking about pee.
Apparently it’s the cure for everything.
Wrinkles, fat, acne.
Some drink it.
Not me.
Some rub in on their skin.
Not me.
At least not yet.
Supposed to make skin tighter and brighter.
You go.
Then glow.
I learned this researching natural cures for acne.
Seems my baby is now a teenager.
Since I’m turning this into a beauty blog…
I’ve become obsessed with an essential oil called Slim and Sassy.
It’s grapefruit, ginger & cimmamon oil.
Supposed to cure sugar cravings.
As you know I consider Hot Tamales a food group.
I apply the oil on problem areas (my fat tummy).
Or drink it.
Doesn’t taste great.
But it’s got to taste better than pee.
If I ever try the urine thing I’ll let you know if it works.
Work for me these days seems to be…
Funlanthropy.
I’ve emceed 50 (ok 5) fundraisers in the past two weeks.
I was asked to emcee a benefit concert with Bonnie Raitt.
I’ve had a girl crush on Bonnie for two decades.
She’s so good.
And so badass.
Last night I kept my bad ass off the dirt dance floor.
Went to a hoedown.
A fundraiser for Mending Kids.
We help kids in 54 countries.
Including the US.
The event was at the Paramount Ranch.
Last time I was at there it was to interview Jayne Seymour for Dr Quinn Medicine Woman.
This time I was sweating.
Setting up the saloon.
Type casting?
As you know I also consider wine a food group.
Helped set up the booze & the hay bales.
Hey what more do you need?
Divine cowgirl Christine Devine came in thigh high fringe boots.
My friend Natalie the psychic came.
It’s like partying with the living and the dead.
Only the dead don’t donate so much.
Natalie told me I’m like…
A glass of champagne.
Well…
I did have some sangria.
My husband had a beer.
Which reminded me of the pee.
I informed my girlfriend that urine therapy only works…
With your own pee.
So unless you’re oddly talented…
There’s still no reason for a golden shower.
I don’t like the ideal of using pee either.
In college we ground our own watercolors. The recipe called for oxen urine
As a preservative. And over the years I’ve tried to forget what we used instead! Probably has alot to
Do with why I don’t like pee.
In the army they talked about drinking to keep from dying of thirst. It had to bee someone else’s though? Mabee there’s something to it but either way, no thanks!
I never quite understood the Zen of things and butterflies and all. Like the Buddhist monk holds a his
sandal over his head to answer your question…butt oh wait,..I have to go pee !!!
Why I subscribe, I really don’t know,
Perhaps I miss the Family of that Morning Show
Sometimes I laugh, but usually shake my head,
I could be doing so many other things instead
I guess I’m old fashioned if you had to define me,
But a Lady publicly talking about her pee…really?
Society has shrunk and it is now no holds barred,
I can’t think of that kind of talk from a Silent Movie Star
Devolution is the name of the game,
But that doesn’t require us to act in shame
A good heart and deeds washes your hands of the wealth,
But bodily function discussions should be much more stealth
Your group of gals does its good as has its fun,
You should outshine everyone in comparison
Yes you are cool and shock with a laugh,
Yet this kind of talk forsakes your better half
I know it’s there and so do you,
Is next week’s post going to be about poo?
There is something youthful about shocking your clan,
Please think about letting go of that, you are not a Seaman
Still a loving soul in a smokin’ hot shell,
You don’t belong at the fringes of Hell
Just joking, we all know that is total B.S.,
But you are just so much better than the rest,
As Channel 11′s ratings can attest
Who are those kooks on the T.V. by the way?
Poor Steve has seen much better days
Now I’m rambling like a self-absorbed fool,
All because of an electronic cesspool
None of this matters much, I am kind of like you,
I guess other than getting old, I’ve nothing better to do
Hey Joe,
Wasn’t it the French philosopher, Voltaire, who said: “It’s always better to laugh”?
Dorothy Lucey is Funny and I don’t care what she comes up with…she moves me. !!!
Hello admin i see you don’t monetize your page.
You can earn extra $$$ easily, search on youtube for: how to earn selling articles
Of course you love Bonnie – she’s a fellow redhead like your BFF and when I bought – oh soooo dating me but my 26 yr old was 3 and I bought a BR CD she said “look Mommy you are on the picture and I know you don’t sing Mommy so how’d you do that ?”
NO PUN INTENDED.. and I wish I could re tweet this but girl I have grandchildren and there will be no reference to the GS thing.. HA