DALLAS, DUCKS & OTHER STUFF

I didn’t buy Twizzlers.
And we missed our flight.
Not saying that’s why.
But I always fly with Twizzlers.
As God is my witness…
I’ll never give up sugar again.
We picked a bad day to fly standby.
Tropical storm Bill (wasn’t even a damn hurricane) rained chaos on Dallas.
Spent 12 hours in terminal B.
Ate at every restaurant.
I got a fried chicken salad at Fridays.
I was in training for Memphis.
Once the wind was gone…
We arrived in time for the mallard march.
The Peabody hotel has a fountain in the lobby.
Each day ducks waddle down a red carpet to frolic in it.
You know me…
I see a red carpet and I want to ask: who are you wearing?
They’re wearing feathers.
You watch this different kind of duck dynasty.
Have a cocktail or a snack.
They serve everything…
But duck.
I ducked into the bathroom to freshen up after 24 hours of travel.
Then went straight to Graceland.

“I’m going to Graceland, Graceland
Memphis Tennessee. ”

I’d been there before.
Long ago I had a show called How’d They Do That?
A reality show.
Before reality got hot.
I co hosted the show with Pat O’Brien.
We taped in a studio.
When the audience got restless watching us flub lines…
Pat would say…
Do I come to the drive thru at Taco Bell and annoy you at work?
But once we were on location in Memphis.
We got to Graceland late.
They took down the velvet ropes so we could shoot.
We walked into Elvis’s white living room.
Our director sat in Elvis’s white chair.
Our guide went white…
She said…
This is a museum.
We don’t sit in the King’s seat.
This time I was at Graceland with my family.
Actually my husband’s family.
I have a puny family.
Two sisters & one cousin.
David has a large, eclectic (that’s PC right?) family.
We all wondered through the King’s castle.
Not sitting anywhere on anything.
When we got to the Jungle room I texted my friend Linda Thompson.
Linda once dated Elvis.
Yes, she also married Bruce Jenner.
Yes, I can’t wait for her book.
Linda helped Elvis decorate the Jungle room.
I asked why green carpet on the walls.
She said Elvis wanted it to look like moss was growing inside.
Outside it was 100 degrees.
I was rethinking my hot (as in warm) suede dress for the wedding.
Blue suede dress.
With blue suede shoes.
Got them from my friend Trish Suhr.
A Kentucky girl.
My nephew is marrying a gorgeous girl from Memphis.
Her dress had beading down the back.
I’d have beads of sweat down the back.
Plus my dress was snug.
And that was before I had everything smothered and on a biscuit.
The trip wasn’t all biscuits & gravy.
We went to three museums.
My son thought we did this just to torture him.
But I wanted to see Stax Museum of American Soul.
And the National Civil Rights Museum.
It honors another King.
The Lorraine Motel is part of the museum.
You stand in the room where Martin Luther King spent his last moments.
Standing in that room…
Looking at that balcony…
Where he died.
A day after nine died at a Charleston church…
What the fuck is wrong with us?

“Anybody here…
Seen my old friend Martin.
Can you tell me where he’s gone.
He freed a lot of people.
But it seems the good they die young.
I just looked around and he’s gone.”