SO I WOKE UP…

WAITING FOR KOURTNEY BUT ONLY GOT ME.

I woke up looking at a pyramid.
Egypt?
No.
Vegas.
The Luxor.
Where Michael Jackson once lived.
It’s 110 in the shade.
But there is no shade.
Unless I throw some at you.
I’m in a mood.
How?
Why?
I don’t know.
Let’s go backwards…
Like The Hangover.
It starts with Britney Spears.
My friend Kim & her daughter Alex were visiting me.
Alex is somewhat (I say somewhat so as not to embarrass her) obsessed with Britney.
She even loved bald Brit.
A true fan.
She follows her on Instagram.
Britney posted a photo from a surf shop in Malibu.
We were at CVS.
10 feet away.
So we took a look.
No Brit.
Then Brit posted a photo from Bui sushi.
20 feet away.
We took a look.
No Brit.
Didn’t see any paparazzi.
So didn’t think we’d see her.
But we were on a mission.
Not stalking.
More like lurking.
But no Brit.
Apparently she knows to post a photo after she’s left a restaurant.
We went to Craig’s restaurant that night.
There’s always paparazzi there.
But this was of Kardashian proportion.
They were so bored they took photos of me.
Saw my old friend Adrianna Costa.
We worked together at GDLA.
Adrianna is gorgeous & looks like a Kardashian.
I said that’s K level paparazzi outside
She said…
Well, Kourtney is at the table beside you.
Apparently I’ve lost my star radar.
When Kourtney went to the potty some guy said to her…
I look like Scott.
But he’s a douche.
I’d be better for you.
Apparently the price of celebrity is not getting to pee in peace.
The place was packed with celebs.
One of them hit on Alex.
I think that almost made up for missing Brit.
Mother & daughter were in LA for a quick visit.
Then Mom was off to Vegas.
For a business trip.
I won’t get into the blood & puss but…
A dental emergency emerged.
Kim couldn’t fly.
When you absolutely, positively have to get there…
You find a sucker to drive you.
I drove her to Vegas.
Impromptu road trip!
Very Thelma & Louise.
Except Louise needed pain meds.
I could have used something too…
But I was driving.
5 hours.
112 degrees.
Vegas baby.
But the way…
It’s hotter here than Egypt.