My Somewhat Inappropriate Travel Blog Paris & London.

First thing I did in Paris was lock myself in a bathroom.
Not intentionally.
But it was cool in there.
Paris was so hot the Nutella was melting.
In Europe the bathroom doors are heavy and the locks are quirky.
Just when I thought I’d spend my entire trip in the loo.
I escaped.
And Paris awaits.
Notre Dame looks the same from the front.
Then you notice there’s no roof.
There are cranes and the stained glass is gone.
To see stained glass go to Sainte Chapelle.
A small church that’s all stained glass.
The church and museum tour is the way to stay cool…
When even Mona Lisa seemed to be sweating.
My favorite museum is the Musee de l’Orangerie in the Tuileries (love pretending I speak French. I took French…all I remember is charcuterie.)
The museum was built as a greenhouse for orange trees.
Now it houses Monet’s lovely Water Lilies.
Monet donated them after WWI.
They were slightly damaged in WWII.
They had to kick me out when the museum was closing.
Then Mr G and I walked to Le Meurice.
We had stayed there for our honeymoon.
Picasso had his wedding dinner there, Salvador Dali lived there.
Hitler’s men stayed there during the war.
But at least they didn’t burn Paris down when he told them to.
We sat in the lobby bar.
I could rose’ all day there with their olives, nuts and cheese cracker things.
The man next to us was sitting at a table with his terrier.
I believe he was reading to the dog.
We were having drinks with Linda Alvarez.
Linda anchored at NBC & CBS in LA.
After leaving TV she’s been traveling the world.
Goals!
Then we headed to my favorite restaurant in Paris…cafe Voltaire.
I was there years ago when a friend ordered the rhubarb dessert.
No one had ordered it in years.
The chef made enough for the entire restaurant.
We passed the terrine from table to table.
This time I ate enough French Fries for the entire restaurant.
And this time we stayed at the Citizen M (since Le Meurice is now 900$ a night!)
It’s a cool hotel chain.
If you skip housekeeping for a day…they do a good deed in your name.
And the bar is open 24/7.
But bathroom confession…
The loo is smaller than a NY closet.
Thankfully that was not the potty I got locked in.
Since Paris is locked in traffic we used scooters.
Scooter beats Uber (except on cobblestones).
No scooters in London.
The fastest ride was the Thames Rocket.
It’s a speed boat tour.
You fly by the Tower Bridge and where Sir Ian McKellen lives.
As much as Mr G pretended we were reliving our honeymoon…we were actually there for a baseball game.
Yankees v Red Sox.
The first MLB game ever in London.
Frankly I could give a Cricket.
But I did get to see the Duchess of Sussex.
I almost missed the royals because I was on the throne.
After half a beer I had to pee and almost missed Meghan & Harry.
Since Mr G dragged me to two games…
I dragged him to two museums.
The Tate Modern with the Salvador Dali Lobster Telephone (a lobster siting on a phone).
And the British Museum with the Rosetta Stone and a thorn from the Crown of Thorns.
Our last dinner in London was at the Chiltern FireHouse.
We were told to dress chic.
There’s no chic on the last day.
My clothes were in a pile on the floor.
They were a sweaty mess…
I found something black.
And hoped for the best.
The next day was planes, trains & automobiles.
We Ubered to the train station.
Took the train to Paris.
Then the train to the airport.
I had visions of racing trough the airport.
Last time I saw Paris I changed my flight and my connection was tight.
My Mom wasn’t well and I had to get home.
Running through the airport I heard a French flight attendant say…
“You should have worn flats”.
This time we made the flight.
I had time to shop Duty Free and pee.
And…I did not get locked in the loo.