My Little Lights…Deep Breath If You Dare.

We aren’t supposed to be breathing on each other.

But somehow I got talked into a Breathwork class.

Lisa Breck invited me.

I said…no hugging.

She said…

If you don’t hug me I’ll mount you like they do on The Bachelor.

I hugged her.

We all hugged.

Trish Suhr, of the corn thing.

And of saying things like ”I swear I have it all together, I just forgot where I put it.”

Sabrina Soto, TV host and most adorable human.

And Stephanie Carson, an angel, who teaches meditation and Breathwork.

Stephanie is also an Intuitive Healer.

She offered me Swedish fish…so she‘s obviously intuitive.

We started the breathing,

You breathe in…

First in your stomach, then in your chest…

Then you let it all out.

You do this quickly.

You hyperventilate.

Soon you’re in an altered state.

Sometimes people scream or cry.

I laughed.

Who knows why.

And I had a scripture playing  in my head…

Be joyful, always.

Pray continually

Be thankful in all circumstances.

I was so zen when I left Stephanie.

Then I went to Trader Joes.

And there was no toilet paper.

I took a deep breath.

I smiled at an old lady in the veggie aside.

She sneezed.

I held my breath.

I reminded myself…

Joy.

Damn it

Pray.

Damn it.

I went to four grocery stores.

No toilet paper.

Once on a Mending Kids mission to Ethiopia I was walking to the loo with loads of toilet paper.

One of the kids asked…what is that?

With the language barrier, and without being graphic …I tried to show him.

He showed me his left hand.

They use the right for eating.

And the left for…wiping.

My friend Jonisha the Medium just told me to find a bidet and call it a day.

Still I feel we need TP when the world is going to shit.

But apparently this is going to be a BYOTP crisis.

So take a deep breath…

Unless someone around you is sneezing…

Stephanie is @mysoulsanity on Instagram.

She teaches  Breathwork at Unplug Santa Monica.