God Wants Me Sexy

I knocked. Didn’t want them calling the police. I was peeking in. Stalking the house I grew up in. We lived in NY until I was 8. We hid a kitten under a laundry basket until Mom said we could keep it. In that house. My sister started smoking and set the toilet seat on [...]

Thought I’d have a quickie in London. 4 days. Then 3. Then… Let’s just say my quickie is slow going. I’m going to London. I hope. Flying standby. I have a friend who is a flight attendant. Won’t tell you his name because you’ll bug him for standby passes. Or maybe not. Standby means sitting [...]

Got to teach my son how to do laundry. And how to cook. He knows how to make PanOreos. That’s an Oreo dipped in pancake batter. But man can not live by PanOreos alone. Speaking of alone. We’re going to be empty nesters. Hate that phrase. How about Free birds? The nest wasn’t that crowded [...]

I gained 3 pounds on Spring Break. Three pounds of Margaritas. In four days. I quit drinking for two months. But when in Cabo… We stayed at an all inclusive hotel. So when they ask if you want a drink… I think it’s incumbent on you to say OK. The drunken college kids in Cabo [...]

In case you’re just like me and just want the headline… Love this sh*t: Renee Lynn Esthetics ageintervention.me Mary Ascension Science of Excellence (aka Fat Whisper) Aerial Pilates and Tanis Rhines The Garden Spa ‘T http://thegardenspat.com Bobi Leonard Stem cell http://bobileonard.com People ask me… What are you doing? That’s different from… What have you done? [...]

I was nervous. And I don’t usually get nervous. This guy saunters out of a trailer. Thin guy. Spiky, cropped cut. Gray hair. Gray suit. He’s alone. He walks toward me. I would have thought he was a PR person telling me Bowie wasn’t coming. But I saw the eyes. Two blue. Same color. But [...]

You know those days you wake up happy? For no reason. Then again… Why be unhappy? We’re alive this morning. Right? Last night my sister and I went to hear Marianne Williamson. Marianne speaks most Monday nights at the Saban Theater in Beverly Hills. She spoke about forgiveness. She says each time you judge someone… [...]

I have a crush on… The Pope. Is that weird? It is. So I’ll move to another topic. I saw Charlize Theron. Here’s the update… Still gorgeous. We were getting our blonde on at Meche salon. It’s odd… Because my last blog was about her. I don’t want to blog stalk her. So I’ll move [...]

I didn’t see Bieber. But I did see his car. It looks like aluminum foil. Like a shit ton of aluminum foil. Did I say shit ton? I’ve been spending too much time with teenagers. A bunch of teens saw Bieber in Malibu. They posted a shit ton (sorry) of Snapchats. Bieber was at the [...]

Tap here for GOOD DAY AMAZON you tube clip > I had to pee. But there’s no potty in the Amazon. Not the Amazon you order books from. Well… I order beauty stuff. Occasionally herbal diet pills. I like the green tea pills. This is the other Amazon. The one with the monkeys. spiders and [...]