God Wants Me Sexy

  Rodrigo has two Moms. Actually three. When you count his real mommy. But here… He has me. And Hot Mother Teresa. That’s what I call my friend Brooke. Sometimes I call her my partner. Just to mess with people. Hot mama and I both wanted Rodrigo. So we’re co-parenting. She does the hard parts. [...]

Felt like a reality show. Only it was, you know…real In El Salvador In a van. In oncoming traffic. Passing 4 cars. Or more. Maybe it was 6. At least I had doctors with me. 2 gods of plastic surgery from Beverly Hills. You’d think I could get a free consult. But they were too busy fixing [...]

            You know I love my wine. I’m saving the world one glass of wine at a time. Right? But gratitude can take me away faster than rose’. When I’m grateful. I’m high. I’d have to imbibe a lot of wine for that. Helping people is my drug of choice. Wine is [...]

Here’s something you don’t know about me. Let me preface this by saying… It’s not all THAT interesting… But I’ve got this weird thing with redheads. It’s not a fetish. That might be fascinating. It’s just… In kindergarten there was Patty. A redhead. A blonde boy named Christopher used to chase us. And kiss us. We called [...]

I have… I had… A beautiful friend. She was like sunshine. A California girl. By way of Oklahoma. A kind girl. The kind of girl who would pray for you. Or grab your ass. And tell you how good it looked. Whatever you needed. Blonde. Beautiful. Spiritual. Mother of three. Died suddenly. Incomprehensible, Family inconsolable. [...]

A girl walks into a bar. Actually it was a restaurant. Actually a restaurant with a bar. Point being… I was a little tardy to a party. And I get a text from my husband. Steve is here. Steve who? I’m not being rude. I’d never expect Steve Edwards to be at a party. Or [...]

I’m a giver. I give myself stuff all the time.  Nothing better than a lace top or Botox. But I give to others too. I’m about to give you the two best things I do. Not a new face cream (but I do love the Facelift Serum Liquid Restoration Therapy at Vita Springs…you’re welcomed). It’s [...]

  I’m one safety pin away from a wardrobe malfunction. Again. I rented a Herve Leger from Rent the Runway. That’s the dress that acts like Spanx. Figured I’d never get my bottom in the small. Forgot about  the top Needed  my boobs and maybe JLo’s to fill the medium. So out came the safety pin. The last [...]

I have a girl crush.

I’m getting Botox today.